March 13, 2021

A Week In My Life #7

A Week In My Life covers what happened throughout the week. It'll include my posts for under each respective day, a recap of the day, etc. After the week I'll then include any books I received this week! It is officially replacing the Stacking The Shelves, Sunday Post, Weekly Recap post I used to do and puts everything under a much neater title.

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Two Month Recap:

It's been about two months since I posted. It's just been exhausting. Yesterday was my last day at my aide job I started in December. I left on my own. Not because I hated it. I just can't work at that particular school anymore. I'm actually currently applying and potentially interviewing for similar positions at other schools in the district now. I love the district. It's the district I want to teach in once I finish my degree. It was just the team I was a part of at that school.

It started off really great, but within the past monthish, it's just felt hard to want to get up and go to work. It's a whole combo of things that pushed me really to leave that school. Instead of really ranting, I'm just gonna make of list of why I just didn't feel like I belonged there anymore.

I felt like the prepping and planning I did for my center was disposable compared to others, even though I spent the most time prepping mine. It was always the one not done to do something else.
I felt constantly undermined when dealing with my students behaviors. I could literally be talking to my students and other staff would talk over me and override anything I said. It's hard for students to listen to and respect what you say when what you say is constantly being ignored cuz someone else thinks their discipline is more important.
I literally got talked to by the principal for using my phone during planning time when I was literally on pinterest finding activities for my center which my lead teacher even said I could use and encouraged. But no one else ever got in trouble for using their phones and they were not planning most of the time.
Everyone else never got their schedules changed cuz they all got assigned their favorite students but I of course got mine changed cuz no one else wanted to deal with the high needs student I had in the mornings even though it was essentially only for an hour by the time they really would take them over.
Other aides would literally call me from other rooms or across the playground to deal with said specific high needs student, even if I was working with other students literally because they didn't wanna deal with them. We all are trained to work with all the kids so they could have easily dealt with things without pulling me away from students I'm working with.
I felt like I was intentionally being excluded. The aides that had been their longer than me would always walk away from me and huddle up and talk and I could literally see them glance at me while talking. We had days where we'd order in for lunch and I literally was the only one not included the past few times. They literally would ask everyone what they wanted in front of me or around me and then not ask me and walk away.
The cherry on the cake was that 3 other aides left during my time there. The other aides that had been their before me literally held little going away parties with gifts, a card and cake for all of them. I literally got nothing. The one long term aide that had my back got me a gift and honest to god straight up said it was incredibly shitty how the rest were treating me and hopes the next team I end up on treats me better. She was genuinely sad to see me leaving.

I just feel so sad and drained. I put a lot of work into this position. I even took stuff home with me to prep if needed which has put me behind on some schoolwork now. And I know other teams with these programs in the district don't treat people like this. The school I was at literally has had the highest rates of turnover for aides in this program and I can clearly see why now. It's not that its been a bad school year, its how the long termers on the team treats the new people that join it. I literally just wanted to cry all day yesterday cuz all but two of the team pretty much ignored me. And then everyone was eating and enjoying an ordered out lunch except me cuz they didn't include me. I feel like I made the wrong decision when I chose that team now. I had two job offers and I chose that team and school and I really feel like the other one would have treated me better than this. I might still have the opportunity to go to the other school still since they have positions still open. So I'm hoping for that. I just feel so sad that I put so much into my job and this is how I'm treated. I truly hope they don't chase the two brand new aides away like this.

Other News:

I know one of the last things mentioned before I stopped posting was my dad having a stroke. He's doing a lot better now. He's home, doing rehab, working on regaining what he lost due to it. It takes time, but he's made good progress so far.

Ana will finally be going back 5 days a week to school after spring break. She's incredibly excited about that since its just been a rough year with over half of it being online. Despite being virtual over half the year really, she's doing great. Her reading is coming along fabulously! I love sitting down with her and having her read books to me.

Also, I finally have some posts ready for you guys! So excited!